Finding Joy / Experiencing Fulfilment

This article was originally published on LinkedIn on April 22,2025

Why success isn’t always the answer (and what might be.)

As far back as I can remember, I’ve been drawn to open and authentic conversations in which there are those moments when a simple shift in perception leads to something powerful. A sense of joy. A feeling of clarity. Sometimes, it’s like the clouds part just enough to let in a bit of light. In that moment, there’s a taste of freedom, however fleeting—a release from whatever had been weighing someone down.

And yet, I’ve also noticed something else. These breakthroughs, as beautiful as they are, often fade. There’s rarely a structure in place to build on them. For the longest time, I approached these conversations like puzzles to be solved. I was hooked on the “solution,” the fix. But in doing so, I missed something essential: empathy. I wasn’t fully in touch with my own emotions, my own inner landscape. I wasn’t truly feeling—I was analyzing.

With time, I’ve seen this pattern not just in myself, but in many others. Friends, family, colleagues. People who’ve achieved success, often by society’s highest standards. They've done the hard work, built the life, checked the boxes. And then… a quiet realization: I’ve done everything I was supposed to. Why don’t I feel complete?

There’s a subtle, often unspoken sense that something is missing. And this feeling isn’t rare. In fact, it’s incredibly common. It's so common that we rarely name it. Instead, we bury it. We dive into our strengths, do more of what we’re good at, chase the next goal, hoping that maybe this time success will bring the feeling we've been longing for.

Our society isn’t helping. If anything, it feeds the fire. We’re bombarded with messages that push us to consume more, experience more, do more. To consume, we must spend. To spend, we must earn. And so we work harder, push further, aiming to fill a hole we can’t quite define. It’s a loop: we do more, to have more, only to end up feeling… less.

The desire, the ambition we’re taught to pursue is often rooted not in clarity, but in confusion. In a quiet, persistent ache. A lack of connection with ourselves. A lack of understanding of who we are beneath all the layers of doing and achieving.

So what’s the way out?

One powerful place to begin is with our desires themselves. Not just what we desire, but why. Where did they come from? Who or what shaped them? And how do we react when we get what we thought we wanted or when we don’t get it?

This is not an intellectual exercise. We can’t think our way through it. The truth is our willingness to feel what we feel is everything. It’s not just helpful—it’s the key. Without that, any exploration of fulfillment or joy will remain incomplete.

Final thought:
Maybe the real journey isn’t about fixing what feels broken or chasing what one feels is missing. 

Maybe it’s about slowing down enough to listen. To feel. To reconnect—with ourselves, with our desires, with what it truly means to be whole.