On Resistance (to Change)
(This article was originally published on LinkedIn on May 21, 2025 )
After the initial burst of writing last month, I took a break to cleanup the writing for eventual sharing. Had a good time reading and reflecting on the responses (written and verbal). All the time, I was aware of my commitment to keep writing these invitations for Joytalks!—and yet kept postponing (for all good reasons) the act of actually writing the next one.
Now it's week 5 and no fresh material. I also have material to share—previous work that could be shared with possible updates or rephrasing. Somehow the time for that is not here yet. And here I was, not wanting to write, clearly facing an inner resistance whose shape or name I didn’t comprehend.
One option was to give in and not try to write anything new—just keep my commitment (to my coach!) by sharing something each week from updated previous material. Another was to break the commitment—came up with many good excuses to justify the break. All sensible but not “real”!
So the only option that seemed to work was to put pen to paper and explore this business of resistance. The way we keep the status quo going—or at least try to. Something about stepping into the unknown, about not wanting to fail, not wanting to look or sound stupid. I also hear the words, “What difference will it make?” “What’s the point? What difference has the sharing and writing so far made?”
Then the awareness expands, brings back memories of many such inclinations of wanting to give up—to stay safe, to remain invisible. I suddenly realize that this is the voice of my inner resistance to being myself. This is triggered by my deep-seated conditioning, my deep-seated fear. It has shown up in daily life as wanting the same food, same clothes, same routines—the quest for the familiar. Familiar as the comfortable, whether it really is or not!
I have also had periods where I wanted to get going, to make change happen—personally and at a larger scale. All because I had seen “the right way” or “the right correction,” and all that was required was vigorous action. Damn the resistance. Push hard to achieve the obvious goal. Purposeful activity over everything else. Results were achieved but at a heavy cost—to self and others. Goals accomplished, celebration attempted, but no experience of joy or real fulfillment.
That then led to me not wanting to push hard, to eventually finding ways to justify the status quo. Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.
“Accepting what is” turns out to be the key to seeing the dynamic at hand. All the deep reflections, journeys, and inner work brought home the understanding that this is the play! All designed to bring out what sits inside. Only when I love what is, am I able to meet the structures inside that are causing the resistance.
With self-acceptance and tough love from friends and family, one then wakes and works through what needs working through to stay the course, to enjoy the twists and turns in the plot. Most of all, to see the blessing in the challenge—the joy of discovering new facets of self and world-at-large. What was once impossible now becomes a blessing, a celebration of the latent capacity within.A new source of joy!!
What resistance are you meeting today?
What might it be trying to teach you?
